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Post by The Caribbean Crusader on Jul 8, 2007 14:07:40 GMT -5
Hee, I liked that Mort/James bit too! Very clever! ;D Jack?! Ooh, not fair teasing me like that.
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Post by The Poetic Protégée on Jul 8, 2007 16:27:18 GMT -5
I loved that description! Where's my Earl? ;D I'm so impatient! Very glad that Jack is on his way too
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deppstergal
Newbie Swooner
Each Day Is A Gift, Have Fun!
Posts: 27
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Post by deppstergal on Jul 12, 2007 18:14:30 GMT -5
Flying Trips, Fist Fights and Gilbert Grape, The Reluctant Valet
I barely had a chance to draw breath when Willy Wonka made another of his spectacular entrances in his glass elevator, and this time he had quite an audience. Even Mort managed to tear himself away from his scribbling to check out the eccentric chocolatier. Of course, Willy had brought with him a supply of his latest creations and my guests crowded round him, eager for their share of the goodies. Willy seemed rather anxious to avoid anyone asking him any personal questions so he announced that he was more than happy to give rides in his elevator to anyone who fancied a trip. There was no shortage of takers. All the guests with the exception of William, Gene and George, lined up for their turn in the elevator. Poor William was still feeling a little under the weather, and of course I remembered Gene had once had an unpleasant experience in a glass elevator, so I understood his reluctance to board Mr Wonka’s flying machine. When George saw me looking at him, he shook his head and whispered to me, ‘I spend enough time trapped in confined spaces with nutcases already. I just left one prison cell, I ain’t in any rush to step into another.’ All I could do was smile at him, and his wry sense of humor about his incarceration.
Still, with Willy providing the entertainment, it gave me a chance to have a little chat with William who at long last had made it downstairs. He seemed very frail, his beautiful features etched with a sadness that made him appear so achingly vulnerable, but there was also a feisty streak in William Blake that took me by surprise. ‘I don’t want anyone to fuss over me like I’m a helpless invalid’ he said pulling his fur coat tighter around him. He went on to explain that although his health was not the best, he was well used to dealing with his own problems. ‘I need a lot of rest, and I feel cold a lot of the time, but apart from that I’m as fit as a fiddle.’ As if the prove this, he attempted to get up from the sofa too quickly and almost lost his balance. As he slumped back down among the cushions, he closed his eyes and said, ‘Perhaps I need a little nap….’ and he seemed to be asleep as the words left his mouth. I sat watching him sleep for a few minutes, wondering if he would ever manage to stay awake long enough for me to get to know him? William Blake, my incredible Sleeping Beauty.
Outside in the sunshine, Gene and George were laughing as they watched all the other guests waiting for their turn for a trip in the glass elevator, and of course, Willy was organising them in his usual bossy and pernickety manner. Apparently, Ichabod got first turn because Willy felt he was suitably attired and whilst Sir James also won Mr Wonka’s approval, he sent Fred to the back of the queue because he insisted on wearing his bowler hat. Dean was only allowed a trip if he observed the no smoking rule, and he too went to the back of the queue to have a smoke and decide if the trip was worth it. Bon Bon was working the line of waiting guys for all she was worth. Her object was to get to head of the queue and get herself paired up for the trip with the object of her affection…..my Axel! Fortunately for Axel, Willy himself had taken a shine to him and decided to make him co-pilot on the trips, much the chagrin of Spencer. Alas, there was no one to rescue poor Spencer from the attention of Lt Victor and the astronaut suddenly lost all interest in flying machines. Once Spencer was out of the picture, Victor gave the glad eye to Cesar, who returned the compliment by giving Victor a black eye, and chaos ensued.
Punches were flying, skulls were being cracked, top hats were being stood on and in the midst of all this disarray, Sam who had sought refuge up the nearest tree, suddenly yelled out. ‘They’re here, it’s Gilbert and Edward and that other man with the long hair.’ Oh dear God, trust them to show up just when everything was going so badly wrong! Now I was yelling, ‘Guys, please stop fighting. Stop it now! You are all being very rude behaving like this, now stop it at once.’ I can’t be sure if my pleas actually had the desired effect or if it was the sight of Edward that caused my warring guests to suddenly fall silent, but the fight was over as quickly as it had broken out. As I moved forward to greet Edward, he panicked and called out for Gilbert. ‘I’m here, buddy. It’s okay, nobody’s going to hurt you. Just stay calm, okay?’ The soothing sound of Gilbert’s voice seemed to calm everyone down, but I was shocked when I saw the little cuts and scratches that covered Gilbert’s face.
I was just about to ask him what had happened when Gilbert frowned and shook his head at me. ‘I’m alright. It wasn’t Edward’s fault, I just got a little too close when I was feeding him.’ For a moment I forgot about everyone else and gave Gilbert an enthusiastic hug, only to be reminded of my other guests by their loud clapping, whistling and catcalls. The sudden noise startled Edward, but then he smiled and took a bow, thinking the applause was for him. Finally Gilbert smiled his beautiful smile and putting his hand on Edward’s shoulder he said, ‘C’mon buddy, we better go get the Earl out of the truck.’ In all the commotion I had completely forgotten about the Earl! I trailed after Gilbert, bombarding him with questions about the enigmatic John Wilmot. ‘I hope he wasn’t too obnoxious. Was he unkind to Edward? Did he offend anyone with his behaviour?’ Gilbert pulled a face at me. ‘He was a major pain in the a** to me, treated me like I was his servant, but he was very kind to Edward. And the only person who seemed offended by his behaviour was himself.’ Gilbert’s last comment stopped me in my tracks because it seemed so strange, but at the same time, it had the ring of truth about it. Gilbert Grape might just be a grocery delivery boy from some little hick town, but he knew a thing or two about human behaviour. And he knew all there was to know about taking care of the weak and the fragile.
As John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester alighted from Gilbert’s old pick up truck, I felt a sudden urge to curtsey to him, but I managed to stop myself just in time. He was a stunningly handsome man with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and all the bearing one would expect of a Lord. He accepted my words of welcome cordially, but part of me felt as though he was amused by my efforts to host this event. ‘I know you’re probably used to far grander accommodation than I can provide, but I’m sure you’ll be comfortable in the motel’ I said trying to keep my voice steady. He arched his eyebrows and glanced at Gilbert. ‘Is this ‘motel’ the place you told me about, the one I said sounded like a doss house?’ Gilbert nodded his head slowly and said, ‘And it’s ten times better than that hellhole I collected you from, so don’t get snotty about where you’re sleeping.’ With that the Earl turned to me and said, ‘I accepted your invitation and I’m not going to make a fuss about the accommodation, but I really must insist you supply me with another valet. This Grape fellow is insolent and disobedient and his livery is a disgrace.’
I was stunned into silence for a minute, but when I finally opened my mouth to reply, the only sound that came out was laughter. Naturally, Gilbert laughed too, and Edward, who already seemed devoted to Gilbert, joined in as well. The Earl bowed his head, and for a moment I expected him to stride off in a temper, much the way Fred had done earlier. Instead, his chest heaved and his shoulders shook, and when he could contain it no longer, he let his own laughter out. Trying to catch his breath, John Wilmot told me it was refreshing to meet someone who was not afraid to mock the aristocracy. He said he thought he would enjoy his stay after all. I made a mental note to ask Gilbert about the hellhole the Earl had been staying in, and wondered if I had a good enough supply of band aids for the duration of Edward’s stay.
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Post by The Poetic Protégée on Jul 14, 2007 10:40:59 GMT -5
Yay! My Earl made it to the party ;D I'm glad he wasn't mean to Edward, that would have been upsetting. Bless dear Gilbert.
More! ;D
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deppstergal
Newbie Swooner
Each Day Is A Gift, Have Fun!
Posts: 27
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Post by deppstergal on Aug 18, 2007 17:38:40 GMT -5
An Apologetic Lover, A Mediating Author and Two Very Drunken Sailors.
Fortunately, the Earl seemed to be a surprise hit with my other guests, mainly because of his impressive recital of bawdy poems which left many of the guys breathless from laughter. Even Ichabod managed to smile and one or two of the more tame verses! I might have breathed a sigh of relief if I wasn’t still worried about Don Juan, and of course Captain Jack and Roux. But I didn’t have to worry for long because Tom Hanson showed up with Glen and the amorous Don and I could tell from Don Juan face that Tom had already delivered a lecture to him on his wayward behaviour. The handsome Don begged my forgiveness for his lateness and to hear his gorgeous Castillian accent made it impossible for me to do anything other than forgive him. In fact he was so convincing in his apology that I found myself telling him that I understood his need to stray off course, and it wasn’t until I saw him wink at Glen that I realised the Don had worked his infamous charm on me!
And having charm by the bucketload meant that the Don had no trouble at all making himself at home with my other guests. Only Tom remained unimpressed by the Spanish lothario, but Tom was pretty old fashioned in his views on courtship and of course, as he reminded me, he had learned at the Police Academy all about the nasty diseases that could be picked up unless one was circumspect in sexual matters. Despite Tom Hanson’s very responsible influence, Glen looked like he was more than ready to be led astray by Don Juan and all I could do was hope that the lack of female companionship would keep Glen on the straight and narrow.
Selfishly, I was less concerned about Don Juan when the fickle Bon Bon made a play for him! Naturally, I was relieved that my beloved Axel was off the hook, and I reckoned with his wealth of experience, the Don would be able to deal with a little flirting with danger in the shape of the very shapely transsexual blonde. Axel kept himself busy as always, but he still found time to make friends with Gilbert, and Sam had happily taken Edward under his wing and Edward was delighted to have made another new friend. Surprisingly, the Earl seemed to have struck up a friendship with Sir James and Fred, and I was just glad that my disastrous conversation with Fred earlier had not caused him to withdraw completely from the gathering.
Mort seemed to be coming out of his shell, although he had another panic attack when Willy suggested it was time for his bi-annual haircut! ‘I think you would suit a ‘bob’ like mine, and it would make your head look a normal size.’ Willy began searching for Edward to perform the sartorial honors when Mort completely freaked out, and only the swift intervention of George and Dean averted a major episode. Again, it was strange, but also kind of wonderful to see how my guests reacted in certain situations. I mean, George Jung and Dean Corso are hardly top of the list of responsible characters but they both showed they had good hearts and fast responses when they were needed. Dean did an excellent job of calming Mort down, even if several cigarettes were involved, and George was great at reassuring Willy that he wasn’t to blame for poor Mort’s unbalanced behaviour.
I was also pleased to see that Donnie was cutting George a little slack, or maybe Donnie had realised that George could outwit him without too much effort and that his attention was better spent on some of my other guests. Naturally, Donnie was deeply suspicious of Raoul, Lt Victor, Spencer and Agent Sands, and the four of them would have kept a team of undercover agents busy round the clock. I couldn’t help but wish that Donnie would take some time off and just relax, but the man was a workaholic who could make Tom Hanson look like a slacker! Raoul was crazy but he was on his best behaviour which meant he only seemed a little strange. Lt Victor was a bit intimidating, but I felt he looked more dangerous than he actually was, or maybe he too was playing it cool after being on receiving end of Cesar’s temper. Spencer was definitely creepy, but with that smile I knew he could weaken my resolve and so I did my best to keep some distance, or at the very least George or Axel between me and the astronaut. As for Sands, he was probably the most dangerous of all my guests. He was smart and sneaky and very sexy for guy with no eyes. He didn’t miss a trick and I knew he was sussing us all out, checking who might be useful to him and who he could happily dismiss. Sands paid no heed to anyone and only lip service to me as his host, but I knew in his head, I was well and truly dismissed. Oh well, some you win, some you don’t!
Later on as I was making some fresh coffee, Sir James came into the kitchen and intimated that if I was waiting on a good moment to sort out things with Fred, now might be a good time. He gave me a shy smile which told me that he had already smoothed a path for me to make my peace with Fred, and I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss his cheek and whisper my thanks before heading out to the garden to find my heartbroken Inspector. Fred has always been one of the guys that really gets to me emotionally. He’s just so vulnerable underneath that hard exterior, and more than even George or Gilbert, I have cried myself silly over Fred and his plight, feeling his pain and fearing for his sanity.
I found him sitting with his back against the old oak tree, carefully rolling a cigarette. He looked up as I approached and gave me a little smile. Sitting down beside him, I launched into my apology but before I could finish, Fred put his fingers to my lips and made a hushing sound. ‘It’s my fault really’ he said quietly. ‘I get a bit uptight in new situations and don’t handle sympathy very well. I know you meant well and I am grateful for your concern. You’ve been very kind, and Sir James has been very patient with me too.’ I fought the urge to kiss Fred, deciding he would be embarrassed by any display of affection and instead, I took hold of his hand. ‘Fred I would love to see you happy and smiling, and I know I don’t have any magic wand that I can wave to change things for you, but please believe me that the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you.’ Slowly, he nodded his head as he squeezed my hand and I knew that he understood I had never intended to upset him.
Just then, there was a commotion coming from the house, and Fred helped me to my feet saying, ‘It sounds like your seafaring guests have finally arrived.’ Suddenly, I felt very flustered at the prospect of coming face to face with the irrepressible Capt Jack Sparrow and the irresistible Roux. Inside the house, Fred and I joined my other guests in the front room as they watched helpless with laughter as two very drunken sailors attempted to negotiate the latch on my garden gate. Roux appeared to be slightly less inebriated than Capt Jack, but still he was having a hard time staying upright. At one point Roux attempted to prop Jack up against the low garden wall so he could use both hands to try and undo the latch, but Jack, who swayed and rolled at the best times, just keeled head first over the wall, and poor Roux was too drunk to figure out what had happened. In a panic, Roux began to head back down the lane in search of Jack and I decided the rest of the guys had had their fun and asked Gilbert, Axel and George to go and rescue my well oiled late arrivals. Well, it was plain to see that the pairing of the Captain and the gypsy was at least one I had managed to get right!
If I am being completely honest, I was a little disappointed that Jack and Roux turned up in such a drunken state. Of course, I would have been disappointed if Jack had showed up sober, but somehow I had expected more of Roux. I thought maybe Roux would have been a good influence on Jack, but it looked like Jack was a bad influence on Roux. Oh the demon drink! And I was glad to drown my sorrows with the glass of wine Gene Watson handed me as we watched the guys manhandle my drunken guests inside the house. Ichabod want to examine the ‘bodies’ till Sir James gently reminded him that being drunk was not yet a crime. The Earl proposed a toast to the new arrivals, but it was clear by then that the Earl didn’t need much of an excuse to fill his glass again.
Staring at the two sleeping figures laid out in my front room, I could not deny their beauty and Jack with smudged kohl rimmed eyes and matted hair, was still one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen, although his noisy snoring did detract from the overall effect. Roux was more peaceful in repose, with a natural dignity that seemed to go hand in hand with his gypsy heritage. Welcomes and introductions would have to wait till the morning, and as they were both too drunk to check in at the motel, I had no choice but to let them sleep it off on my front room floor. George very gallantly offered to stay with them and without my having to ask, Gilbert and Axel went off in search of blankets, pillows and of course a couple of washing up bowls……just in case! Once the makeshift beds were sorted out and George had settled himself on the sofa with a quilt, I shooed the rest of the guests off to bed before heading upstairs myself, tired and tested to the limits. What on earth ever made me want to bring all these guys together? Never mind Raoul, or Mort or Sands, I was as much of a nutjob as any of these guys!
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Post by The Poetic Protégée on Aug 18, 2007 18:05:43 GMT -5
Not a nutjob, a GENIUS! Everyone's arrived, yay! ;D More please!
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deppstergal
Newbie Swooner
Each Day Is A Gift, Have Fun!
Posts: 27
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Post by deppstergal on Aug 18, 2007 20:00:11 GMT -5
A Moment of Honesty….Feel Free to Join In!
When daylight peeped through the gap in my bedroom curtains the next morning, I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. My head was aching and my nerves were frayed, but sleep had deserted me so I got up and went downstairs unsure what was awaiting me. George was sound asleep on the sofa, but there was no sign of Jack or Roux! I was just about wake George when I heard the dulcet tones of the good Captain coming from the garden. ‘smeep you to hell, you miserable Irish excuse for a sailor!’ As I rushed to window to investigate I heard Roux’s laughter and his sexy Irish accent as he defended himself. ‘I’m only being cruel to be kind. You’ll be sober in no time, and I would have thought a fine sailor such as yourself wouldn’t have minded a bit of water.’ I had to smile when I saw that Roux’s bit of water was actually my garden hosepipe turned full blast on the prostate figure of Jack Sparrow. Jack coughed and spluttered as he tried to escape the jet of water that Roux aimed at him. Finally managing to get to his feet, Jack drew his sword and glared menacingly at Roux. ‘You don’t want to be doing that, mate. Now turn the hose off or you’ll be minus an ear.’
Oh dear! I wasn’t sure how serious Jack was but I felt it was time for me to call a halt to any potential violence. I rapped on the window and both men turned and looked at me in surprise. Jack, still half drunk, had enough of his wits about him to take advantage of Roux’s distraction. In a flash, he dropped his sword and quickly wrested the hosepipe from Roux’s grasp, and now it was the Irishman’s turn to be doused with icy cold water. ‘You might think you don’t need any help in getting sober, you low down Irish son of a dog, but the water will get rid of the smell. You stink worse than a barrel of rotting fish, savvy?’ From what I could recall from the previous night, both these men had reeked of rum so strongly than no other underlying odour could be detected. Still, I figured it would do neither of them any harm to have an enforced cold shower, and their anger at each other turned playful as Jack chased Roux round the garden.
I couldn’t help but laugh at their antics and my laughter woke George, who shook his head and muttered, ‘Don’t encourage them. You give either of them an inch and they’ll take the whole nine yards. A pirate and a gypsy! Bad combination, babe! You made a wrong call on pairing those two up, that’s for sure.’ For once I disagreed with George. Okay, maybe it was like putting a match to a stick of dynamite, but there was something exciting and edgy about the way these two interacted that I found very appealing….and of course I knew the last thing I should do was admit that, because as George rightly said, neither of these guys needed any encouragement to misbehave. So I said nothing and wondered what kind of lecture I was likely to have coming from Tom Hanson on my poor choice of travelling companions. Whatever Tom might have to say, I knew he would be one hundred percent right in his judgement and I also knew that he would get mad at me because I would have this silly smile on my face for the rest of the day.
Of course, George offered to go outside to try and calm down my overexcited guests, but I said no because I wanted them to have their fun. ‘You could make some coffee if you want to help out.’ I said, and a sleepy George wrapped the quilt about himself and staggered through to the kitchen. As he passed me, he smiled at me and my feelings got the better of me, and once again I found myself falling in love with this man. George has done this to me so many times! I’ve never denied having a soft spot for him, but he’s not meant to be one of my ‘big loves’…..he’s George! And yet every so often he sneaks up on me when I’m least expecting it, and he flashes me that certain smile and before I know it, I’m crazy for him all over again! Maybe I need to be hosed down too?
All these guys, all my feelings for them can be stressful, especially when I’m not prepared for how I feel. I mean, I can handle being in love with Gilbert because I’ve always been in love with Gilbert. And Axel, I know how I feel about him and my feelings for him don’t creep up and ambush me. I can almost deal with my overwhelming physical attraction to Spencer because it never changes. I feel the same every time I see him, and if he smiles at me, well I feel pretty defenceless, you know? And I guess Fred has always had a piece of my heart and my feelings for him don’t really change so there are no shocks involved. But George needs a government health warning tattooed on his forehead, and I would say the same for Roux only sometimes I don’t want to be warned, I don’t want to know what’s good for me, and I don’t want Mr Perfect Tom Hanson acting like an uninvited chaperone! I love Tom, I really do, and he’s got a fantastic body, but seriously the guy needs to loosen up a bit. See how neatly I sidestepped dealing with my feelings for Roux? Pretty impressive, eh? Just don’t ask me how I feel about Jack…..not yet, not today, okay?
The bottom line is this isn’t about me and my feelings; not really. I have no intention of declaring my feelings to any of these guys and I have no illusions that any of them harbour any feelings for me, although I think some of them like me. No, this about them. That’s why I brought them here, and if maybe, just maybe, I’m hoping to get some kind of thrill out of their presence here, then so what? Are you going to tell me that you’ve never had this fantasy? Liar, liar, pants on fire! You can’t seriously call yourself a Johnny Depp fan and expect me to believe that you don’t have feelings for some of his characters. Of course you have! But the other important thing to avoid at all costs is Johnny Depp. The man has a long time girlfriend and a couple of kids, so he is most definitely off bounds. He’s happy with his life and I’m happy that he’s happy, so let’s just leave Johnny out of the picture and concentrate on his characters. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was avoiding my feelings for Roux and Jack and feeling mad at George for making me fall in love with him again. So where do I go from here. Firstly, I’ll have my coffee and if I’m lucky I’ll get to spend some time with Gilbert and Axel before all hell lets loose when that pesky pirate sobers up.
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Bex00001
Humble Sidekick
Stan <3
Posts: 305
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Post by Bex00001 on Aug 19, 2007 10:41:06 GMT -5
This is great! I love it!! more please! =D #love# #hearts#
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Post by The Poetic Protégée on Aug 19, 2007 11:51:59 GMT -5
*raises hand in the air* I admit it, I do. I'm in love with one, maybe two...three?...ten?...well, some of Johnny's characters I want a water fight with Roux and Jack
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