Gilbert's New Girl

[deppstergal]

Gilbert’s New Girl
Rating PG 13 (L) (S)

A fan fiction based on the characters from the novel and the film ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’. I have tried to keep the characters and the tone of my story in keeping with the original story and characters created by Peter Hedges. The story starts approximately fifteen years after the point where the movie ends. Hope you like it and all constructive criticism is appreciated, so feel free to comment.


Chapter One

Hi, I don’t know if we’ve met before or if we have, that you would remember me? My name is Amy Grape and the only real interest you might have in me is that my brother is Gilbert Grape. Oh, you remember him okay! Well, why wouldn’t you? He’s a kind of sweet guy and a lot of women seem to find him attractive, but being his sister I can’t really see him the way other women do. Anyway, I thought maybe you might want to know how Gilbert is doing these days so if you don’t mind me posting his story, sit back and I’ll tell what you need to know.

Before Tally Chambers came to town, everyone around these parts held my brother in the highest esteem. He was one of the good guys, and if the truth be told, he still is---it’s just that Tally Chambers cast a spell over him and a shadow over the entire town. Here’s how it happened.

The Reverend Massey took a stroke late one Saturday night while he was preparing his sermon for Sunday service. Mrs Fenner found him dead when she arrived to cook his breakfast the next morning and two weeks later, I attended a memorial service for Reverend Massey held by his successor, the Reverend Chambers. Gilbert didn’t come to the service with me. He wasn’t much of a churchgoer, and like he said, ‘I never paid any attention to Reverend Massey when he was alive, so I don’t think he needs my phoney grief now that he’s dead.’ See, Gilbert was kind of cynical about most things. I guess he was unhappy with the way his life turned out, and I suppose my life hasn’t been any better, but I generally manage to remain cheerful.

I don’t want to go into all the details of our past, so I’ll just fill in the relevant bits if and when the story needs a bit of explanation. Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, the memorial service and the first time I laid eyes on Tally Chambers. She certainly didn’t look like a minister’s daughter. She looked kind of….. kind of, well, kind of trashy, you know? Her hair was dyed black and she wore heavy eye make-up and purple lipstick, and lots and lots of silver jewellery. Sally Morrow, my best friend, said it was the Goth look, whatever that was? I mean, we just don’t get Goths living in Endora. Tally clothes were all black and she had black polish on her fingernails. She looked so weird I didn’t notice that she was really pretty, but Sally did. She said to me, ‘If that girl would just scrub off the make-up and put on a dress, she would still be the center of attention around here’. True enough, every head in the church was turned in her direction, and after the service, the congregation stood outside the church and gawped as this girl lit a cigarette and went marching down the street.

I can’t remember if I mentioned the girl to Gilbert when I got home, but I guess I did. In a town as small as this, there isn’t such a lot to talk about. But even if I did tell him, Gilbert probably wasn’t listening. He’d be hunched over the kitchen table, going over the accounts like he did every Sunday. Gilbert is the manager of our local grocery store and he hates it. The only thing that keeps Gilbert sane is his relationship with my friend Sally, and the infrequent visits of his daughter, Mary Jane. I often used to wonder if Gilbert knew that Sally told me everything, but of course he never asked me. I mean, he knew that I knew that he and Sally were lovers, it was pretty much an open secret in Endora, but no one seemed to mind too much that the lonely bachelor was warming the bed of the young widow Morrow.

Gilbert and Sally had been an item for the past four years, and the fact that they hadn’t gotten married was not down to a lack of encouragement on my part. I thought they made the perfect couple, and Gilbert was obviously very fond of Sally’s two sons, James and Kevin. But somehow Gilbert seemed to drag his heels when it came to making a commitment to Sally, which was a shame because Sally admitted that she would jump at the chance to be Gilbert’s wife. Naturally, Sally knew about Gilbert’s daughter, and about her mother who had just about broke Gilbert’s heart a dozen times over. I kept telling Gilbert he should go to court to get custody of Mary Jane because Becky was clearly an unfit mother to the child. It would have been nice to have his little girl living with us, and if he and Sally ever made it down the aisle then there was room enough here for all of us, Sally’s boys as well. Enough of my daydreams, I’m wandering off course again. I start to tell you one story and end up telling you another, and believe me, you really don’t want to get me started on Becky Collins.


Chapter Two


It only took a week or so for Tally Chambers to come to Gilbert’s attention, not that he said anything to me. Oh no, it was Tucker Vansmeep, Gilbert’s closest friend and my would-be beau, who told me. If the truth be told, I was not attracted to Tucker in any way at all, but he was kind and gentle and the only single man anywhere close to my age in Endora. Tucker and I did not enjoy a full relationship you understand, it was more of a platonic thing. Some people just don’t have physical desires, and I long ago accepted that I was one of them---unlike my brother. Does that sound harsh? I don’t mean to judge him but women have always been Gilbert’s weak point and to confront him with a girl like Tally Chambers was like setting a match to a bale of hay. Tucker told me that he and Gilbert had gone for coffee at Marty’s Café and the girl was working there as a waitress. She was sullen and distant, but Gilbert smiled at her and she smiled back, then she winked at him! Dear God, my brother will be forty next month and teenage girls are still winking at him!

‘
‘He seemed okay, you know, maybe a little bit surprised. I don’t know Amy! Why don’t you give Gilbert the third degree.’ But of course I didn’t. You don’t push Gilbert about these kind of things, instead I waited and watched and felt the tension building up between us. It didn’t take long for the first bombshell to drop.

One night after supper, Gilbert was in the bathroom shaving and I was collecting the laundry, he said, ‘I hired a new assistant for the store.’ It had been over two months since Davie Johnson had quit to work at Food Land and there was only Gilbert and Mrs Marshall to deal with the customers and the deliveries. ‘Who?’ I asked as I shook out the sleeves on his shirts. ‘That new girl, you know, the new minister’s daughter’. I straightened up and looked at him through the mirror. He carried on shaving but he saw the look on my face. ‘She was working at Marty’s café but she was looking for more hours and she saw the sign in the window….’ his voice trailed off, he stared at me for a moment and then bent his head over the washbasin. ‘Does she have any experience of working in a store?’ I asked trying to keep my voice normal. He shrugged his shoulders before saying, ‘You don’t need much experience to sell a bunch of people bread and potatoes, Amy.’ With that I gathered up the laundry and went downstairs.

The next morning as Gilbert gulped down his coffee while fastening his belt and brushing his hair all at the same time, I mentioned the girl’s appearance might be off putting to some of his customers. ‘Well, they can go f*** themselves if a skinny little girl gets them all riled up.’ I was not accustomed to hearing my brother curse, but I was not so naïve as to think he never let loose. Still and all, I took the fact that he swore in front of me as an indication that he was ready for any opposition anyone showed to his decision to hire the minister’s daughter. I wondered how Mrs Marshall felt about her new co worker, but the set of Gilbert’s shoulders told me not to take the matter any further. He can be so stubborn at times, and yet in other ways he’s too soft. Look at the way he allowed Becky to walk all over him! Okay, maybe he was in love with her, but he should never have let her call all the shots. What was wrong with that girl that she said no to Gilbert when he asked her to marry him? And she was carrying his child too. A blind man could see that he worshipped the ground Becky Collins walked on, and she treated him like dirt! ‘Well’ I thought to myself, ‘you can go f*** yourself Gilbert if a skinny little girl gets you all riled up’.


Chapter Three


I met Sally for lunch that day and she knew about the girl working at the store. ‘It’s typical of Gilbert to push the townsfolk to their limits,’ she said with a wry smile. ‘He always sticks his neck out for the misfits, always drawn to the freaks and weirdoes, is our Gilbert.’ Personally, I thought he was just being awkward, but that comes from having lived with the man for almost his entire life. ‘So is that why he goes out with you?’ I asked in a less than kind tone. Sally rolled her eyes and sighed, ‘Please Amy, the last thing I need right now is to be on the receiving end of your nasty streak.’ I opened my mouth to protest, but Sally cut me off saying, ‘Don’t even try to deny it. You’ve all got it, everyone of you, even Gilbert can be a sour Grape at times.’ After an awkward silence, Sally changed the conversation to telling me about how Gilbert was going with her and her boys to a softball match that evening. As we left the diner she said, ‘So tell the Gorgeous Gilbert to be at my house at seven sharp, and don’t expect him home tonight. I have a little softball of my own lined up for him.’ Honestly, sometimes Sally can be a bit crude. I think she forgets that her lover happens to be my brother and in my eyes he’s not gorgeous or desirable. To me Gilbert is just Gilbert, still the same as always, still moody, still vulnerable, still insecure, still my baby brother.

The phone was ringing as I unlocked the front door and I lifted the receiver just in time. It was Tucker. ‘Do you wanna go for a drink tonight? Or maybe we could drive over to Fern Creek and catch a movie or something?’ I told him I didn’t feel like going anywhere, but that if he wanted to bring over a pizza and a bottle of wine, we could watch Celebrity Wheel of Fortune on t.v. and speculate on what exactly was going on between Gilbert and the Goth girl. ‘I don’t think there’s anything like that going on Amy, I mean she’s just a kid and Gilbert’s got Sally. I mean, he’s got something real going on with her, you know? Sex and stuff, stuff that maybe we should be thinking about.’ I tried not to laugh down the phone line at his hopeful plea. ‘Tucker just come over about eight armed with a pepperoni and a half decent Chablis and we’ll take it from there, okay?’ I swear to God, I could feel his excitement rising long distance, poor baby. Just as I hung up the phone, Gilbert came through the front door, loaded down with the best part of a weeks groceries; it was one of the perks of his job, although a lot of the stuff we got for free was either damaged or right up against it’s sell by date. Just like Gilbert, just like me.

I let Tucker stay the night, but as usual whenever he stayed over, he slept in Gilbert’s bed and not in mine. The next morning, munching his way through his second bowl of cornflakes, Tucker said, ‘D’you think that maybe Gilbert and Sally have done it here, you know, in his room, in his bed?’ My hand froze, the piece of toast suspended half way between the plate and my mouth. ‘Don’t be disgusting! I’m trying to eat my breakfast and the last thing I need is a mental image of my brother and my best friend….oh please, I don’t even want to think about it.’ Tucker stared at me blankly for a moment and then he smiled and said, ‘But you know they do it, don’t you? And there’s nothing wrong in it either. And maybe there’s nothing wrong in me being curious. I mean you’re pretty curious about him and that girl. You’re just dying to know if he’s attracted to her because she reminds you of Becky.’ Ouch! Talk about hitting a nerve! Of course, I denied it. ‘She’s nothing like Becky. For all her faults, Becky was much prettier and at least the age gap between her and Gilbert was acceptable.’ Tucker smiled again, ‘It didn’t stop her from almost wrecking his life. Man, he was crazy for her, just like I’m crazy for you Amy. You wanna wreck my life? You can if you want. Please Amy I’m ripe for being wrecked, and it would be something that me and Gilbert could talk about, share our experiences, what d’you say Amy, I need to be wrecked.’ He ducked as I sent a piece of toast flying at his head.

[deppstergal]

Chapter Four

Gilbert didn’t come home till late Sunday afternoon and he was very subdued. I asked him about the softball match and he said it was fine, but he didn’t feel like talking. ‘I got a hangover and I feel like s**t.’ I made him some coffee and he fell asleep in front of the television while supposedly watching ‘Deep Space Nine’. I called Sally. ‘He drank too much because we had a row’ she told me, sounding tearful. ‘I was tired of waiting for him to make the first move,’ she continued, speaking in almost a whisper, ‘so I asked him to marry me. He turned me down, Amy. He said no, and he couldn’t give me a reason why. I asked him if he loved me and he said he wasn’t sure. Jesus, how can he not be sure after four years!’ As I listened to Sally wailing and moaning, once more it occurred to me that Sally would be better off with Tucker, because there was something profoundly wrong with Gilbert and I. Neither of us were capable of settling for second best. Both of us would live with nothing before compromising our ideals. ‘You just caught him off guard,’ I told her, but I knew my excuse was pitiful. ‘Give him a couple of days to get used to the idea and he’ll come round.’ We both knew it wasn’t going to happen, but we both pretended to believe it….at least for now.

All of the following week was spent under the shadow of Gilbert’s unhappiness but neither of us spoke about the reasons. His misery just simmered away below the surface until on the Thursday I told him Ellen had called. ‘Janice is coming to visit her and Ellen thought we should all get together one night for dinner.’ Gilbert opened and closed the fridge door three times before he replied. ‘You do whatever you want Amy, but I’m not prepared to pretend everything is hunky dory---not after what Janice did to you. And you know me and Ellen just rub each other up the wrong way, so I’ll take a rain check on the reunion dinner.’ He grabbed a bottle of beer, slammed the fridge door shut and walked out of the kitchen. I followed him through to the living room. ‘They’re still our sisters, Gilbert, our flesh and blood. We can’t just ignore them.’ He took a deep swig from the bottle and said, ‘Maybe you can’t, but I can. Just watch me Amy, just watch me!’ Dear God, here we go again! Nothing ever changes in this family, we just can’t learn to let each other be. I suppose we should be grateful that Larry seems to have forgotten we exist. Perhaps the thought of Larry was sent to Gilbert telepathically, because he bowed his head and said quietly, ‘And if that bastard Larry shows up, one of us will be dead and the other will be up for murder.’

I called Ellen later that day and suggested that I came over to Elmsdale and had lunch with her and Janice. No, Gilbert couldn’t make it, I lied, he was short staffed at the store. The next night Tucker and I drove to Millers Point to play Bingo. God, how I hate Bingo, but it was somewhere to go, somewhere that got me away from Endora, and away from Gilbert. Tucker looked glum when I asked him what Gilbert had told him about him and Sally. ‘He seemed kind of sad about it all. He said he didn’t want to finish it with Sally but that he wasn’t ready for marriage.’ ‘He’ll be forty in a couple of weeks, how ready does he have to be? Doesn’t he know how lucky he is to get a girl like Sally?’ Tucker shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘See, the thing is Amy, Gilbert feels like he could never settle down with someone like Sally. He’s real fond of her and all, but she’s too conventional for him. He wants someone to shake him out of his complacency, you know? Like Becky did? He needs someone like her.’ Jesus wept! The last thing my brother needs is another Becky! ‘Well maybe it’s time you told him that it’s time to let go of his dreams and start facing reality. He’s almost forty and there ain’t no queue of women waiting outside the door. Sally Morrow is as good as it gets for Gilbert, and she’s better than most men have to settle for. You tell him to wake up and smell the coffee, tell him to forget that little tramp he’s got working for him.’


Chapter Five

The next day I drove over to Elmsdale to have lunch with my two sisters. As I drove there, I kept thinking about Gilbert and the look on his face the last time Becky showed up in Endora. She wanted to go to Europe for the summer and could Gilbert take care of Mary Jane? Of course, he agreed because he loved his daughter and maybe because he still loved Becky. Mary Jane had been ten years old, now she would be thirteen, only four years younger than Tally Chambers. The Goth girl was young enough to be his daughter and any hint of a sexual relationship between them would cause a scandal and deservedly so. Lunch with Ellen and Janice was strained. Ellen at least had the decency to ask after Gilbert, but Janice acted like we were talking about some stranger. ‘It’s time Gilbert married that woman he’s been screwing, like forever,’ said Ellen as she proudly passed round the latest photographs of her family. It was weird to think that out of six siblings, only Ellen who was the youngest, had settled down and was raising her own family. Oh sure, Janice had been married twice but she had divorced her husbands as fast as she had married them. Larry was married to the whiskey bottle, and poor Arnie was dead these past 12 years, but marriage would never have been an option for him anyway.

I told Ellen that it looked like things between Gilbert and Sally had run out of steam. Ellen gazed out to the garden and said softly, ‘Poor Gilbey, he’s still pining for Becky after all these years.’ Janice pulled a face and said, ‘So how is your love life Amy?’ I managed to smile and say, ‘Oh you know, it’s hectic as ever. Both Pierce Brosnan and Kevin Costner are bombarding me with proposals but I’m holding out for Tucker to pop the question.’ Janice snorted with laughter, but Ellen reached across the table and squeezed my hand. ‘If Tucker asked you, would you marry him Amy?’ I shook my head. ‘Tucker’s a real sweet man, but I think maybe I’m just not the marrying type and besides who would look after Gilbert if I suddenly decided to get married?’ Of course, no one knew better than me that my brother was completely capable of looking after himself, but the pretence of caring for Gilbert had become my purpose in life, just like taking care of Arnie had been Gilbert’s purpose for living…but Arnie was gone now.

On the drive home, I saw Tally Chambers walking along the road, heading for Endora, so I figured the least I could do was stop and offer her a lift. She was still dressed in black, but today she didn’t have on all that Goth make-up. She caught me looking at her in the rear view mirror. ‘So what happened to the black eye make-up and the purple lipstick?’ She gave me a slow smile and said, ‘Your brother asked me not to wear it when I’m working at the store. He didn’t want me scaring off the old folks, you know?’ I nodded, trying to hide my surprise that Gilbert had actually asked her to alter her appearance. ‘Were you visiting friends at Millers Point?’ I asked her and she laughed softly. ‘No ma’am, I was just walking and thinking and smoking. I can’t do that in Endora without everyone staring at me like I’m some kind of a freak.’ I tried to explain that most of the townsfolk’s astonishment about her came from the fact that she was the minister’s daughter and she said she’d already figured that one out. ‘My Dad is okay with it, he doesn’t mind, doesn’t judge people by their appearance. And Gilbert, I kind of reckoned he was okay with it too, but he’s got a business to run and I needed a job.’ As I dropped her off close to her house, I realised she was actually a sweet girl, but then no one could have seemed sweeter than Becky Collins so I knew how deceiving first impressions can be.

Back home, Gilbert and Tucker were sitting out on the back porch drinking beer, a lot of beer. In an instant I had a flashback to the days before Gilbert started seeing Sally, back to when he and Tucker got drunk together most nights. The thought of that starting up again made me feel sick to my stomach, and both men knew from my expression that I was not pleased by their behaviour. Tucker spoke first. ‘I came over to see if maybe you wanted to talk a walk with me….’ I pulled his jacket off the back of one of the porch chairs and threw it at him. ‘Oh, you can take a walk alright Tucker, but the only place you’re going is home.’ Gilbert snickered as he watched Tucker struggling to put his jacket on. Eventually I had to help him straighten out the sleeves and then I guided him through the kitchen and towards the front door. ‘Call me tomorrow’ I said quietly, ‘and we can go catch a movie, okay?’ He nodded and started to walk down the path, but he stopped and turned towards me. ‘Don’t give Gilbert a hard time, Amy. He’s feeling kind of low, him and Sally called it quits today. It’s over.’ Before I could reply, I heard the sound of the lawnmower starting up. Things were bad when Gilbert mowed the lawn without me nagging at him for days. After Arnie died, Gilbert ruined the lawn with his continual mowing, and the last time Becky came by he chewed the grass up so good that he had no option but to drive over to Walters Bridge and buy enough turf to repair the damage. Drinking and mowing. The signs were not good.

[deppstergal]

Chapter Six

I called Sally from work the next day, but she couldn’t really talk. She just said that Gilbert had finished with her; he said he didn’t want to mislead her about his intentions. She sounded pretty crushed and refused my offer to meet up for lunch. ‘I don’t want him thinking I’m crying on your shoulder, Amy. And besides, I’m still really mad at him right now, and it’s not fair to you to have to listen to me badmouthing your brother.’ Later on that afternoon Tucker called me and I arranged to meet him after work and drive over to Fern Creek for something to eat and to catch a movie. Then I called the store to let Gilbert know I wouldn’t be home. It was Tally who answered the phone. ‘Gilbert’s out back, sorting out some deliveries,’ she said, ‘Do you want me to get him?’ I said no and asked her to pass on the message. Afterwards, I thought, ‘Well that was a dumb thing to do!’ I mean, if either Tally or Gilbert had any notion of getting together, I had just provided them with the ideal opportunity. What the hell was I thinking! I had no reason at all to suspect them of anything and here I was having them plotting an illicit get together behind my back! Sometimes, I get so mad with myself, you know?

Gilbert got a letter from Mary Jane on Wednesday morning, and that seemed to brighten his mood a little. I swear to God, he hadn’t said more than two words to me since the night he mowed the lawn. Oh, he nodded his head and shrugged his shoulders, and once he even smiled, but words were definitely off his agenda for the time being. How can men do that? Just stop talking? Gilbert’s never been much of a talker, but I didn’t know how much more of his silences I could take. I must have been under the weather or something, because I took a bad headache at work and left early. As I walked up the driveway, I could hear Gilbert whistling up in his bedroom, Wednesday is his half day at work. Well, whistling is a positive sign, I thought to myself, although it wasn’t doing my headache any favours. I walked round the house and entered by the kitchen door, and there she was, sitting at the table! Tally Chambers! I was too stunned to say anything. I just stared at her, as she smiled and said hello. ‘Where’s Gilbert?’ I asked, without returning her greeting. ‘He’s upstairs’ she said, ‘he’s looking out some books for me.’ Books! Gilbert read mostly detective novels or science fiction, neither of which I imagined would interest a seventeen year old girl. Just then Gilbert came clattering down the stairs, two at a time, his arms full of a pile of old paperbacks. He saw me, but he never missed a step. ‘Hi Amy,’ he said, ‘You’re home early, are you okay?’ I told him I had a headache and he said, ‘Go on up and lie down and I’ll bring you some lemon tea and a couple of painkillers.’ Conversation and concern coming from Gilbert the Grouch! Whatever next? I figured he was just trying to impress this girl, but I still took him up on his offer. Besides, it gave me a chance to sneak a quick look in his room. Thankfully, his bed was undisturbed, still neatly made.

I opened my bedroom window wide and then drew the curtains. I stripped down to my slip and lay on top of the bed. A few minutes later Gilbert came upstairs with the tea and the pills. ‘You ought to be more careful about bringing that girl here’ I hissed at him. He looked at me blankly. ‘What are you talking about? Since when do I have to sneak visitors into the house?’ I tried to tell him that Mrs Fenner across the street would have seen him bringing Tally into the house, but Gilbert just stared at me as if I were mad. ‘Gilbert, how long do you think it took for word to get out that you broke up with Sally? And how long do you think it will take before people put two and two together and come up with five!’ I saw his eyes glint with anger, and he started chewing on the inside of his cheek like he does when he’s upset about something. ‘There’s nothing going on between us, Amy. Nothing, and even if there were, what’s the big deal? I’m a free agent and so is Tally’. I put my forearm over my face to cover my eyes as I said quietly, ‘She’s seventeen years old, Gilbert. She could be your daughter. Get her out of this house and don’t bring her back if you’ve got any sense.’

The next day, the silence descended again. No more conversation or concern for Mrs Bossy Boots. Gilbert came and went as he pleased, but he started taking his meals up to his room and leaving me to eat alone in the kitchen. One night I was watching television and heard him banging about in the kitchen, so I went to investigate and there he was doing his own laundry. ‘You get a sudden urge to start washing your shirts, Gilbert?’ I said teasingly. He gave me a look and said, ‘Just felt like depriving you of checking them for traces of lipstick, or sniffing them for perfume. See, I know how you get your kicks.’ I was furious, but I knew he was trying to make me mad, so I turned and walked out of the kitchen, saying over my shoulder, ‘Welcome to the world of laundry, Gilbert, because I’ll never wash anything of yours again.’ Tucker came round once or twice, but he couldn’t stand the atmosphere in the house. ‘He’s your brother, Amy, and he’s not done anything wrong. I hate it when you two aren’t getting along, because I get it from both sides. I can’t be here with both of you in the house, both of you sulking like a couple of little kids.’ Gee, well thanks for the support, Tucker! I told him to go, and he went, but l knew he’d be back because Gilbert and I are his only friends.


Chapter Seven

Mostly Gilbert and I get along fine; as brothers go, Gilbert is as good as they get, but sometimes, like now when we’re not getting along, then I wonder what the hell is he doing here? I know Gilbert isn’t living with me, because it’s what he wants out of life; I know that. And he must know the same thing is true for me too. Our sharing a house has more to do with circumstance and sheer economics than choice. Things weren’t meant to be this way, you know? After Momma died and the old house was gone, burned to the ground, it was time for all of us to move on, and we did for a while at least. I got out first, moving to Des Moines with Ellen, and although I liked my new job, I hated everything else about living in a big city. Ellen loved it, but I never really settled there. Gilbert and Arnie were on the road with Becky and they seemed to love the freedom of moving from town to town. Then Arnie got sick and Gilbert knew he couldn’t keep on dragging him from place to place, following after Becky, so he brought Arnie back to Endora. Where else was he going to go? And to his credit, Gilbert never asked me to move back, I offered. Of course, he could have tried to talk me out of coming back, but he didn’t. Mr Lamson was more than happy to give Gilbert his old job back and he helped us to get a place to stay, and acted as guarantor on the mortgage.

It was pretty tough, that first year back in Endora. Besides money being really tight and Arnie getting sicker by the day, I knew Gilbert was missing Becky and hurt by her refusal to come back here with him. From time to time Becky would show up and she and Gilbert would get together and he’d seem happier for a while, but after a month or two, Becky would hit the road again, leaving me to deal with Gilbert’s misery. Then when she came back pregnant, I had my doubts that the baby she was carrying was really my brother’s child, but of course I never said anything. Gilbert was on cloud nine. I think he really believed that a child would make Becky settle down and he was pretty stunned when Becky turned down his proposal of marriage. Becky said she didn’t want him to marry her just because she was pregnant but I knew that wasn’t the case at all. Gilbert was in love with her; he wanted nothing more than to take care of her and the baby, but somehow that wasn’t enough to convince Becky. One look at the new born Mary Jane was enough to convince me that she was very definitely Gilbert’s child. She had her daddy’s auburn hair and brown eyes, and there was a calmness about her that reminded me of Gilbert so much. Oh, she was his daughter alright and he doted on her, but even that wasn’t enough to persuade Becky to stay put here in Endora.

I suppose looking back, I could have told Gilbert to go with Becky when she left with little Mary Jane. I could have told him that I would look after Arnie on my own, but the truth was that I was scared of Gilbert leaving. When I get to thinking about this, and I think maybe I should have let him off the hook with Arnie, I tell myself that Gilbert wouldn’t have gone. He wouldn’t have left Arnie, but there is no way of knowing because I never once gave him the chance. And when Arnie’s heart eventually gave out on him, Gilbert still stayed on. I guess he felt tied down with the mortgage and Mr Lamson was due to retire soon and he was relying on Gilbert to manage the store for him. Maybe he didn’t want to leave me? Or maybe he had realised that Becky didn’t love him enough to sacrifice her lifestyle for him? Oh, I don’t know! See, me and Gilbert, we never talked about any of these things and now I see that was a mistake, a big mistake. But we don’t learn, we keep on making the same old mistakes over and over again, and here we are twelve years on and still not capable about talking about the things that really matter. These days even talking is a struggle.

It got so that I stopped telling Gilbert to bring home eggs or beef stock or whatever I needed, and he had stopped asking. Our lack of communication meant that I had to stop by the store to pick up essentials. It had been years since I had been to the store, but I noticed the difference straight away. Nothing much had changed, but everything was different. I know that sounds crazy, but it was different. The place seemed brighter, better laid out and more welcoming that I remembered it; even Mrs Marshall seemed more cheerful. I knew these changes were down to one person and one person only, Tally Chambers. Every time I laid eyes on that girl, she seemed different. There was hardly a trace of the Goth girl now, instead she looked very natural and very pretty. Usually when I called in, I would be served by Tally as Gilbert was normally out doing deliveries, and each time Tally would say, ‘You should have just called in your order Amy, and Gilbert could have brought it home with him. There’s no point in having a brother who manages the grocery store and having to collect your shopping yourself.’ Obviously Gilbert had not told her we were not on speaking terms, but then why would he tell her?

As the weeks went by, things gradually got back to normal between Gilbert and I, but he carried on doing his own laundry and he even began to do some of the cooking as well. I didn’t mind, it meant less work for me to do, although I’ll admit I was a bit peeved when he turned out to be as good a cook as me. Oh well, at least he hadn’t let himself fall into his old drinking and mowing habits; the lawn just couldn’t have taken another round of abuse! As far as conversation and concern went, well, we were slowly working our way up to that, but Gilbert didn’t have to say anything for me to know he was far happier than he had a right to be. Sometimes I heard him whistling as he tidied up around the house, and once, only once mind you, I caught him singing! It was an old Dr Hook song, what’s it called? ‘The Ballad of Lucy Jordan’ you know the one I mean. ‘At the age of thirty seven, she realised she’d never ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair.’ Anyway, Gilbert was washing his truck on the driveway and he was singing that song. I had to smile to myself, but at the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder what was making him so happy. Oh, who am I kidding? I knew fine well what, or rather who was responsible for his change in mood, but he wasn’t telling and I wasn’t asking.

[deppstergal]

Chapter Eight


The problem with living in a small town like Endora is you can’t have any secrets. Everyone knows everyone, and as nothing much ever happens in a place like this, the most trivial events become the hot topic of conversation. Naturally, it didn’t take long for the good people of Endora to start whispering about Gilbert and the Goth girl and I would’ve had to be deaf to not know what they were saying. No one approved of their friendship, especially given the age difference, and even I was less than happy that my forty year old brother had embarked on a romantic interlude with a seventeen year old girl. What was he thinking of? But for once, Gilbert was thinking about himself, and maybe that wasn’t such a terrible thing, you know? At least, that was Tucker’s opinion. I still needed some persuading. ‘All his life Gilbert’s done the right thing in other people’s eyes,’ Tucker said solemnly, ‘but some of the things he’s done have only made him miserable.’ I wanted to ask Tucker why he was whispering, but I already knew the answer. Gilbert was upstairs getting ready to go out, and any minute now he would appear in a clean shirt and smelling of Boss aftershave. ‘She’s too young for him, Tucker! It’s not right for a man his age to be dating a teenager.’ Tucker took a swig of beer and placed the bottle back down on the kitchen counter. ‘Think about it Amy, who else is he gonna date? Be honest, apart from Sally, who else is there in this entire town who he could go out with?’ There was no one, but I still felt Sally was a better choice of partner for Gilbert than Tally Chambers would ever be.

For once, I almost thought Gilbert looked gorgeous when he came into the kitchen looking for his car keys. He certainly smelled good. ‘So where are you off to tonight?’ I said, trying to sound casual. He smiled at me and said, ‘Probably a movie, I don’t know. It’s up to Tally, whatever she wants to do, you know?’ It was on the tip of my tongue to say, ‘So you’d rather make out with a teenager at the movies than be snuggled up in bed with Sally Morrow?’ but I said nothing. What was the point? Gilbert was a grown man, he knew what he wanted and he didn’t need me telling him he was wrong, even if he was. By the time Gilbert got home that night, Tucker and I were both fast asleep on the sofa, victims of a few glasses of a good Chardonnay and a bad midnight movie. ‘Did you have a good time?’ I asked him sleepily, and he smiled and said, ‘Better than you could imagine, now go to bed, it’s late and you got church in the morning.’ As he helped me to my feet, I could smell Tally’s perfume on him and I could sense his contentment from being with her. Why couldn’t I feel that way about Tucker? About anyone? And at that moment I almost cried because I understood that he was happy in a way that I was still waiting to feel.

When I got back from church the next morning, Gilbert and Tucker were sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee. Gilbert had the account books laid out on the table, but it didn’t look like he was getting much chance to work on them with Tucker yakking away in his ear. Gilbert took advantage of my return to gather up the books, and with a smile he said, ‘I’ll do these upstairs. Let you and Tucker get on with making lunch.’ Of course, Gilbert was no sooner out of sight when I started quizzing Tucker. ‘So did he tell you anything about Tally?’ Tucker beckoned for me to come closer. ‘He really likes her Amy, I mean he really, really likes her. And he thinks that she likes him too. I can’t remember the last time I saw Gilbert this happy. I know you think it’s wrong for him to be seeing her, but you got to admit she’s making him happy, right.’ I bit my lip and nodded my head. ‘The whole town’s talking about it, Tucker. They all think that Gilbert’s some kind of a pervert, and I know he’s not, but the blame for all of this is falling on him. Everyone expects Gilbert to be responsible; he’s a full grown man and Tally’s hardly more than a child. It’s not right, it’s just not right.’ Tucker shook his head. ‘Tally’s young, but she’s not a child. She knows what she’s doing….’ I let out a snort of derision. ‘Oh sure, Tucker! She knows what she’s doing alright! She’s leading him on! She’s just toying with him, and when she gets tired of him, then what? Gilbert’s reputation will be in the dirt and all the heart knocked out of him again, and who do you think is going to have to pick up the pieces?’ Tucker let out a long sigh. ‘I can understand that you don’t want to see Gilbert get hurt; neither do I, but why is it so hard for you to want him to be happy?’ Trust Tucker! He sees one tiny little chink in your armour and the next thing he’s got a knife in there and he’s twisting it around.


Chapter Nine


After lunch Tucker and I took a walk, but for once I was happy to let him do all the talking. He was finally thinking of getting rid of his motorcycle and getting a car, and I was only half-listening as he listed the pro’s and con’s of several different makes of automobiles. As we turned onto Brewster Street, we saw Mrs Marshall from the store coming towards us. ‘Hi Amy, Hi Tucker!’ she said brightly. I could feel Tucker squeezing my elbow, warning me not to say anything to Mrs Marshall about Tally, but I could hardly avoid saying anything about Gilbert, after all, he was her boss. So I told her Gilbert was at home, doing the books, and she gave me a funny look. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘I guess the way business has been at the store this last week or two, doing the books will take him all of five minutes.’ Gilbert hadn’t mentioned anything about trade being slow to me, but Mrs Marshall must have seen the puzzled look on my face because she went to say that although they had plenty of customers, they seemed to have stopped buying anything. ‘Mostly, they’re just coming in to gawp at Tally and draw Gilbert dirty looks’ she said sadly. ‘If it’s any consolation Amy, I want you to know that I think your brother’s a decent man and a good boss, but the business is suffering because of all the talk about him and Tally. If things keep on like this then I guess I’ll be looking for a new job.’ I was speechless! I truly didn’t know what to say to her, but once again Tucker surprised me.

‘So’ he said, rocking back on his heels, ‘all this talk is about what? Huh? Gilbert’s taken Tally to the movies a couple of times---no crime in that, right? You know this whole thing is really starting to p**s me off, excuse my language ladies! I mean, it’s not as if Gilbert’s got her tied up in the stockroom and having his wicked way with a minor!’ I couldn’t remember ever seeing Tucker so angry about anything, and now it was my turn to squeeze his arm to signal him to calm down. Tucker pulled his arm away from me, ‘You’re there in the store with them every day’ he said quietly to Mrs Marshall, who could only nod her head. Now it was her turn to be speechless. ‘So you tell me and Amy what’s going on? You know? Is there any hanky panky going on in the stockroom? Any canoodling behind the counter? Or maybe Tally’s getting Gilbert all hot and bothered up against the chilled cabinet?’ Now Mrs Marshall found her voice. ‘No Tucker, there’s nothing like that going on. I’ve never seen Gilbert behave like anything other than the perfect gentleman when I’m around, but I’ve no idea what goes on between them in private.’ She said it as if she believed there was something going on between Gilbert and Tally, and she was in the best position to judge, spending eight hours a day with them. Oh, I knew it! I knew this was going to happen! Gilbert’s a good person, he really is, but it’s like his brain travels south and stays there whenever a pretty woman shows him some attention.

We left Mrs Marshall and began walking back towards home. ‘Would Gilbert tell you if he was sleeping with Tally?’ I asked Tucker. He shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘No, I don’t think he’d tell me, but I’d know.’ The evening air was hot and oppressive, and the sky seemed low and heavy. Tucker took my hand and for once I didn’t pull away from him. ‘Amy, you know this thing between Gilbert and Tally, I don’t think it’s about sex.’ I looked at his face in the dimming light. He seemed awkward and uncomfortable. ‘I think maybe Gilbert’s in love with Tally, and if you want my honest opinion, I don’t think there’s anything like that, you know, anything sexual going on between them just yet.’ Would the fact that Gilbert was falling love with Tally make any difference to my opposition to him being involved with a girl of seventeen? Maybe, maybe not. I didn’t know. ‘You know what your trouble is Amy?’ Tucker asked me as we walked together. I am always deeply suspicious whenever anyone asks that question. That question has probably led to more rows than I care to imagine. But Tucker was intent on telling me, so I said nothing and listened.

According to Tucker, I don’t have an ounce of romance in my soul, and I couldn’t really disagree with him, but I was still entitled to defend myself. ‘I had all the romance in my soul destroyed a long time ago, Tucker, and you know how it happened.’ He nodded his head sadly, and said, ‘Yeah, I know what happened with Janice and…..’ ‘Don’t mention his name, Tucker, please don’t say it’. He hugged me and whispered, ‘Okay, but maybe you should think about whose shoulder you cried on for years. Gilbert was there for you, so maybe now’s the time for you to be there for him.’ I pulled back from Tucker’s embrace. ‘I’ve always been there for Gilbert, always. When Becky left him, he knew he could talk to me, but he just sulked up in his room or mowed the lawn to death, but I was there for him.’

Tucker shook his head. ‘No you weren’t Amy, not really. Don’t forget I was around when all this was happening and I don’t remember it anything like the way you do. For a start, Becky never left Gilbert. Gilbert left her. Now I know he didn’t have much choice in the matter, but the bottom line is he was the one who left. And as far as you being there for him, well I’m not so sure about that. You were glad it was over between him and Becky, and Gilbert’s not stupid! He knew that! He knew you never liked Becky.’ I wish I could tell you that Tucker was wrong, but he wasn’t. Every word he said was true. I am a terrible person. I’m weak and insecure and scared of being alone. ‘Tucker, why do you bother with me? Why don’t you find yourself a girl with some romance in her soul?’ Tucker tilted my face up to his and said, ‘I don’t want no one else, Amy. And besides if you’d just let me look, I reckon I could find some romance in your soul, or even better just stand real close to Gilbert as often as you can, and some of the romance that’s washing all over him is bound to spill on you.’ Now, when I told this story to Ellen for the first time, she called what happened next ‘romantic’ but to me it was just a rainstorm.


Chapter Ten


The heavens opened and within seconds Tucker and I were soaked through to the skin; drenched from head to foot. Tucker grabbed my hand and we began to run towards home but as we turned the corner onto Main Street, Tucker said, ‘We should turn down the lane next to the Beauty Parlor and it will bring us out close to your backyard.’ Of course, he was right and the rain was torrential so that’s what we did, and because we came in the back door we never saw the Reverend Chambers carry parked on the driveway. We burst through the kitchen door, giggling and out of breath from running, and dripping water everywhere. Suddenly Gilbert appeared in the hallway, his fingers held up to his lips, signalling for us to be quiet. He half closed the kitchen door over and said, ‘You have to stay in here or go upstairs quietly. Tally’s father is in the living room.’ ‘Is everything alright,’ I said, my voice no louder than a whisper. ‘Yeah, everything’s okay. He just wants to talk to me.’ Gilbert’s voice sounded normal, but he had a panicky look in his eyes. ‘I got go talk to him, just try not to make a noise, okay?’ Tucker and I nodded in unison.

Gilbert closed the kitchen door leaving us trying to dry ourselves with dishtowels. We could hear the low rumble of voices coming from the living room, but apart from the odd word, we couldn’t make out what was being said. It was more than twenty minutes later, before we heard the living room door being opened and then Gilbert opened the front door to let the Reverend Chambers out of the house. Tucker and I sat stock still in kitchen waiting for Gilbert to come in and tell us what had happened, but the next thing I heard was his voice, speaking to someone on the phone. I got up and opened the kitchen door and I heard Gilbert saying, ‘Just calm down. Everything’ll be okay. ‘l’ll work something out, please Tally, stop crying. Yeah, I know, I know. He’ll be home any minute. No, there’s no point in arguing with him, just go along with him for tonight. Stay home tomorrow. I’ll call you once I know what we’re gonna do, okay? Now calm down.’ There was a silence and suddenly I knew what was coming next. Gilbert lowered his voice slightly before he said, ‘I love you too.’ As I heard him hang up the phone, I closed the kitchen door again and sat down as if I had never moved.

Gilbert came into the kitchen. He looked tense and he was chewing the inside of his cheek again. ‘What’s going on Gilbert?’ I asked him, but he shook his head and said, ‘You and Tucker better go upstairs and get into some dry clothes. I’ll make some coffee and then we can talk.’ And talk we did. We talked for hours that night and a lot of stuff that should have been said long ago was at last given voice, but in the end we were no nearer a solution than before. Gilbert told us that Tally’s father had come round because he was concerned about his daughter dating a man who was old enough to be her father. He also said that he felt a certain amount of pressure from the townsfolk to confront Gilbert about the relationship. As a minister he had a duty to uphold the morals of the town! Tally’s father had forbidden her from seeing Gilbert, from working at the store and he was in the process of making arrangements for Tally to go live with some relatives in Omaha. ‘I asked him how Tally felt about all of this,’ Gilbert said his voice as heavy as his heart, ‘and he said Tally was heartbroken. He said to me, I have no reason to think that you are anything but a good man, but you have to understand that a relationship between you and my daughter is not acceptable in the minds of most right thinking people. I asked if he cared that his daughter was heartbroken, and he said, Tally is very young, Gilbert, she’ll get over this. She’ll get over you in time.’

Gilbert rubbed his hand over his face and leaned back in his chair. ‘Of course, I can understand his concerns for his daughter, but the fact is that Tally’s seventeen, and in this state that means she’s an adult. She can make her own decisions. I tried to make him see that what he was doing was only going to force Tally to make the decision that he was trying so hard to avoid. He was so wound up that I don’t think he realised what I was saying.’ To be honest, I didn’t really know what Gilbert was saying either, but he soon spelled it out for me. ‘I got no choice, Amy. Either I let him send Tally away and lose the chance to be happy, or I take control of the situation and marry her.’

Dear God! I couldn’t believe he was serious. Gilbert was actually considering marrying a girl of seventeen who he had only known for five weeks! This had to be a joke! But Gilbert had never been more serious about anything in his life. ‘What’s going to happen after you get married, Gilbert? Do you think that a wedding ring on her finger is going to make the townsfolk forget that you’re twenty three years her senior? And if they carry on boycotting the store, what are we going to live on? My wages won’t keep all of us.’ Gilbert just went on chewing the inside of his cheek and staring out the window at the rain. ‘I’m not letting her go, Amy. Don’t ask me to give her up. Tomorrow, whether I ask her to marry me or not, I’m bringing her here to stay.’ I leapt out of the chair, ‘Are you crazy? If you move her in here everyone is going to assume that you’re sleeping with her. They’re going think you’re just a dirty old man!’ Gilbert kept his voice down in contrast to my high pitched squeal. ‘Amy, that’s what they all think just now, so it’s not going make any difference. I really don’t give a s**t about what the townsfolk think. And as far as sleeping arrangements go, it’s up to Tally. If she wants the spare room she can have it, and if she wants to share with me, then that’s fine too.’ I sat back down at the table, put my head on my arms and cried.

[deppstergal]

Chapter Eleven

By the time I got home from work on Monday evening, it was done. Tally had moved in with us and the neighbors curtains were twitching in anticipation. Of course, the events taking place at the Grape home had provided them with a steady stream of entertainment all day long. Firstly, there was Reverend Chambers marching up the driveway, demanding his daughter be returned to him, and when Tally refused to go home with him, the Reverend called the police. Sheriff Farrell showed up and he talked to Gilbert and Tally for a time and then he left, because there was nothing he could do, except make sure that Tally was in our house of her own free will. Now, Tally might have agreed to come and live with Gilbert, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t a hard thing for her to do. The girl was in tears when I got home, and Gilbert was all het up trying to calm her down. Gilbert is normally a very calm person and he’s usually great at getting other people to calm down, but that day, he wasn’t having much success with Tally. I can’t pretend I was happy about the situation and I certainly didn’t feel familiar enough with Tally to offer her any comfort, so I left Gilbert to deal with the sobbing girl while I retreated to the kitchen to cook dinner.

Nobody ate much that evening, but afterwards Gilbert cleared up the dishes while Tally went out into the backyard to smoke a cigarette. I was sitting at the table drinking coffee when Gilbert thanked me for not making a scene about Tally being here in our house. ‘What good would it have done?’ I asked him cynically. ‘You were determined to bring her here, and nothing I could say would have changed your mind.’ Gilbert stood there, arms by his side and said, ‘Thanks anyway. I know how you feel about all of this, but it’s going to be okay. Things will work out fine, it’s just going to take time, you know?’ I nodded and drained the last of my coffee. Gilbert stared at me for a minute and then said quietly, ‘If it makes you feel any better, Tally is going be in the spare room for the time being.’ I stood up and as I walked past him to the sink, I said, ‘So you aren’t planning on seducing her just yet, and that’s meant to comfort me, right?’ I had my back to him as I waited for his reaction, but he didn’t say anything. He just opened the back door and went outside to be with Tally. I could hear their voices but not their words. Tally sounded distraught, and Gilbert sounded like he could feel a mowing attack looming large.

I was sitting in the armchair watching E.R. when the two of them eventually came into the living room. They sat together on the sofa and Tally seemed calmer but Gilbert was still on edge, but when Tally rested her head on his shoulder and Gilbert started stroking her hair, it was me who felt ready to explode. Of course, I didn’t. Instead, I feigned a headache and the need for an early night just so I didn’t have to watch my brother getting all cosy with a girl less than half his age. Upstairs in my bedroom, I called Tucker, but as usual he had more sympathy for Gilbert than he did for me. ‘It’s not disgusting’ he said when I complained about their behaviour, ‘it’s natural for two people in love---not that you would know anything about that, due to your complete lack of romance.’ I hissed at him down the phone line, ‘Well, when you’re the only prospect a girl has, it doesn’t exactly inspire much in the way of romance.’ Tucker swore at me and then hung up! Now I had a headache after all. I felt like crying, but I didn’t. I wasn’t going to let any guy, not Gilbert and certainly not Tucker reduce me to tears tonight. I had cried enough tears last night to last me for quite some time to come.

And so the days went by and gradually the pattern of our lives began to take shape. Every day Gilbert and Tally went to work in the store, and every day they served fewer customers so Gilbert starting closing up early. By the time I got home from my job, Tally would have done the housework and Gilbert would be in the kitchen making dinner. I sort of felt like an intruder in my own home, sometimes embarrassed by notion of them playing house, and sometimes angered by the affection they showed each other. Now, don’t get me wrong; neither of them ever did anything explicit in front of me, I never even saw them kiss, but they still managed to upset me almost every single day. It just didn’t seem right to see my forty year old brother painting a girls’ toenails, or to watch Tally blow drying Gilbert’s hair. But even on days when they barely touched each other when I was around, I still felt annoyed by the way they looked at each other. I guess I just wasn’t used to seeing Gilbert all starry-eyed over a girl. Maybe, he had been this way with Becky, but I had deliberately avoided being in their company, so it was hard to tell. He certainly had never behaved this way in all the time he dated Sally Morrow, but now I could see that he had only ever been in lust with Sally, never in love. Well, at least Gilbert hadn’t followed through on the idiotic notion of marrying Tally; Tucker told me Gilbert had said he didn’t want to put any pressure on Tally. Apparently, he felt she was too young to have to make a decision about marriage! Now isn’t that what I’ve been trying to tell him ever since the day he laid eyes on that girl? Still, the proposal being on hold didn’t mean that everything else was too.

Tally was still sleeping in the spare room seven or eight weeks after she moved in, but of course Tucker said it didn’t mean diddily. ‘They’re alone in the store for most of every day,’ he reminded me. ‘If they want to get up close and personal then they got every opportunity to do it.’ Mrs Marshall had gone the way of almost all Lamson store assistants and succumbed to the lure of Food Land, although I think in her case, it was more about getting out of the firing line of the residents of Endora’s wrath, than any weakness for a red and blue striped uniform. Maybe Tucker was right, but it wasn’t really something I wanted to dwell on, you know? I knew I was going to have to deal with it sooner or later, but I also knew that it wasn’t going to be easy. ‘Gilbert’s not a virgin, Amy,’ Tucker said whenever I shuddered at the prospect of him and Tally actually having sex. ‘He’s a father, he’s got a child, and he might not have ever been married, but he’s always had a woman somewhere in the background.’ This, I did not need to know! Of course, I had heard the rumours over the years, I knew there was talk about Gilbert and some of the women in Endora and Motley; the women who never went to the store in person, the women who phoned in their orders. But one Sunday morning, late in September, I had no choice but to accept that Gilbert and Tally had consummated their relationship.

Chapter Twelve

I had gone to church as usual. Well, not really as usual, because ever since Tally moved in with us, I didn’t feel right about attending church in Endora, so I had started driving over to Motley to pray for Gilbert’s soul. I knew my prayers had gone unanswered when I got home that Sunday and went upstairs to change out of my good clothes. Tally’s room door was open, and her bed was unmade, but she was nowhere to be seen. She certainly wasn’t downstairs, and it didn’t take long to realise that she wasn’t in the bathroom either. That left only one place for her to be; behind the closed door of Gilbert’s room. They must have knew I was home, I made enough noise about it as I vacuumed the carpets with almost as much viciousness as Gilbert inflicts on the lawn when something is upsetting him. I guess my brother and I are more alike than either of us care to admit.

It was almost noon before they came downstairs. Gilbert looked like the cat who got the cream and Tally was blushing like a bride, minus the wedding ring. ‘Me and Tally are gonna go to the Craft Fair over at Fern Creek,’ Gilbert said, unable to keep the smile off his face. ‘D’you wanna come with us?’ To this day, I swear I don’t know if they wanted me to say yes or no, but given that they were barely able to keep their hands and mouths apart, they probably wanted me to say no. I said yes, and the three of us headed off to the Craft Fair. Gilbert bought Tally some glittery silver earrings and she bought him a second hand paperback copy of ‘Dune’. They held hands as they strolled from stall to stall; the tenderness of their love tore at something inside of me and I wished I had stayed home. I even wished Tucker was here; at least he would have made me feel a bit less like a loveless freak. I bought nothing for myself or for them, but Gilbert bought me an Elvis fridge magnet, and although it was kind of tacky and tasteless, I liked it; just like Gilbert knew I would.

The consummation of their love was never openly acknowledged and certainly never spoken about, but the spare room was back to being the spare room, and Tally spent every night wrapped up in the arms of my brother. They were happy and deeply in love, but the deeper their love grew, the more opposition it met from the townsfolk. Part of me agreed with their objections---it was wrong, the age difference between them. And part of me found it hard to ignore their happiness. Gilbert glowed with pleasure every time Tally looked his way, and all he had to do was pull her closer to him for Tally to melt like an ice cream cone in the noon day sun. So why did I still feel it was so wrong for them to love each other? And of course, I had Tucker constantly reminding me that if anyone in this world deserved a little happiness, it was Gilbert. ‘He did everything for the family, and none of you ever really appreciated what he did.’ Tucker was on his knees fitting a new door seal to the washer. ‘I know what he did---you don’t have to remind me of what he did, but taking care of Arnie doesn’t give him an exemption from acting like a responsible adult for the rest of his life.’ Tucker raised his head and gave me a look that said it all, but just in case I missed the point he said, ‘You got a nerve, Amy. You really do. So your boyfriend dumps you for your sister and you sign up for a lifetime of loneliness and misery, and you expect Gilbert to do the same just to keep you company. Well, I got news for you, you’re stuck with me, because Gilbert’s not going to spend the rest of his life being miserable just to make you feel better about yourself.’ Sometimes I hate Tucker more than I hate….no, I’m not going to say his name; I don’t want anyone to think I care enough to remember it.

Another couple of weeks went by and Mrs Fenner from across the street, pulled me aside and said, ‘I feel bad for you Amy, having to live with the shame of your brother’s selfish behaviour, and I just wanted you to know that I would be happy to let you board with me. It’s a real nice room and the rent would only be…..’ I cut her off politely, saying, ‘Thanks for the offer Mrs Fenner, but I’d rather die than have to live with you.’ When I told Tucker he said it was as close to a ‘f**k off’ as I was ever likely to come, and that he was proud of me! It was round about that time when Gilbert told me that Dale McAvoy, the accountant who looked after Mr Lamson’s affairs, had called and said that maybe it was time to look for someone else to manage the store. Gilbert seemed more accepting of what I saw as an act of betrayal. I was furious that they were thinking of letting Gilbert go.

‘What else is he meant to do, Amy? The store is losing money and it’s the only source of income Mr Lamson has. Dale knows what’s going on. He knows why the customers are staying away, but at least he didn’t tell me to get rid of Tally to get things back on track.’ Gilbert gave me a sad little smile and suddenly I felt a wave of sympathy for him wash over me. I was on the verge of saying the first kind thing to my brother in months, when Tally called him into the kitchen and the moment was lost. Tally was learning to cook and some of the creations she placed in front of us were truly terrible! But the girl was a trier, I have to give her that, and no matter how awful the food was, Gilbert ate every bit of it like it was some gastronomic delight straight from Julia Childs’ kitchen. I guess you do things like that when you’re in love.