Barking Mad: An Adventure on Fleet Street

[Secret Pseudonym]

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU POST: Hey all! This is a cooperative fanfic about, well, us! ;D It's about time the Angels, Sidekicks, Sidekicks-in-Training, and Newbie Swooners (i.e. all of us on these here boards) had their own adventure! So, here's the rules:

1. I'll start a story. Anyone is welcome to post the next installment. But you have to work yourself into the plot that is already going and pay attention to who's already in it. So go back and read the previous posts, please.

2. Keep your additions to the story at a reasonable length (see my first installment below). Remember, the key is for everyone to be able to contribute and have fun. Don't hijack the story.

3. Be careful with how you portray your fellow writers, go ahead and write them as you see them, but don't make anyone an obvious dork. Except yourself if you want to.

4. Comments on how the story is going are welcome! If you're just commenting and not adding, please begin your comment with OOC: to let us know.

5. Humor is most welcome in the story. Be flexible and above all HAVE FUN!

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions. Let the story begin...
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Fiend and Secret Pseudonym sat in the training thread formerly known as the Cantina.

"Since when do you go by 'Secret Pseudonym'?" Fiend asked, looking up at the text hanging above their heads.

"Since I became an angel?" Psnoo replied. "I just wanted to work it in once. It's too much to write out every time."

"Good point. What do you want to do today?"

Psnoo smiled. It wasn't a good smile. It was a smile full of mischief. "You know, ever since the EAs got brought up in the JA question thread, I've been itching for a new adventure. Not EA's really, but there's plenty of un-angeled Johnnies to play with. And DB's not around. So..."

"While the cat's away the mice will play?" Fiend asked, a matching grin on her face. "How do we decide who to go...visit...first?"

"Quick! Pull something out of my back pocket."

Both angels reached in, though Fiend was a bit quicker on the draw. When she opened her hand she was holding a ball of twine. "Alright! JA's newest resident it is! I've always wanted to visit Fleet Street."

"Umm...Fiend? What does a ball of twine have to do with Sweeny Todd?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to visit Benji."

Psnoo grinned. "Barkin' Benji. I lime. Shall we take the shortcut through DB's thread or try my new time machine?"

"Time machine?" Fiend asked eagerly, already sidetracked. "I've always wanted to meet the Doctor too!"

"Um, it's not so much a telephone booth as it is...well, you'll see." Psnoo led the way to the door that would take them into the Cabin from the Cantina. Mort's screwdrivers were spread all over the floor around a glowing Mt. Dew pop dispenser.

"That's a time machine?" Fiend sounded skeptical.

"Hey, you work with what'cha got. Get inside." And with that, Psnoo pushed Fiend inside and followed after. "Hold your breath and hope this works." And as any cartoon would advise against, Psnoo pushed the red button.

"What do you mean, 'hope this works!" Fiend's wail of shock faded before it could wake Mort.

[The Imprisoned Songstress]

"Hey wait up for me!" I yell but they don't hear me
Mort is looking at me sleepily
"What's going on? I thought I told Psnoo not to bother me?"
I shrug and say "I'm not sure, but it's sounded like whatever Fiend and Psnoo are doing was going to be fun."
Mort looks disinterested and wants me to leave him to sleep
"Well what should I do?"
in walks C, Lua
"Hi, Allie!, what's going on?"
"Shh....don't wake him, he wants to sleep."gesturing in his direction
In a hushed tone C says, "well?"
"Pnsoo and Fiend went off to Fleet Street in a time machine. I am not sure how to get there. Any ideas?"
Lua, C, and Allie think with Mort sleeping peacefully

[The Undaunted Doña]

DonaM walks up, seeing the kicks walk out of Psnoo's place and asked what's going on..
"Hey, you all look like you're in a hurry.. something going on?" she asked.

"Yeah..Psnoo and Fiendy just left for FLeet Street in a time machine and we wanted to join in the adventure but we're too late.." Allie pouted.

"Not to worry, I can help there.. everyone hold hands.. " DonaM instructed.

C, Allie and Lua all held hands then Lua grabbed Don Juan's hand and Allie grabbed DonaM's. DonaM closed her eyes and imagined with every bit of Angel power she possessed. When everyone opened their eyes, they were standing on Fleet Street.

"Yay, DonaM, you did it! " C exclaimed with delight.

The Angel smiled at the kicks. "Now to find out what Fiendy and Psnoo are up to!"

[CIA Agente Arenas]

Arenas sat bolt upright, wondering what that weird, shiver-type feeling that was working its way down her spine was. She'd been lazing in the late Mexican sun, comfortable with her lot in life, yet secretly pining for something to just sort of...well, happen. Then came the shiver.

"What's up, Sugarbutt?" Sands drawled, smoke curling about his head, sunglasses revealing nothing of the amusement behind the question.

"I...I feel real, weird," Arenas admitted. "Like someone's mucking about in the space time continuum."

"You can feel that?"

"Well, no, not usually. Not unless there's some kind of plot device in use to get people into Angel Adventures. Man, you remember those things? Those were good times, SJ."

Sands frowned, cigarillo drooping. "Angel Adventure plot device?"

"Well...yeah."

He quirked an eyebrow in question. Sands liked his words, but sometimes, awkward silences spoke louder than flowery sentences. Arenas snorted in response.

"They wouldn't be calling me. I've got them busy playing tag."

He continued staring.

"SJ."

Arenas could swear he somehow managed to look even more bored than usual.

"You odious little man."

He just smiled lazily as Arenas imagined herself at the side of the most likely culprits when it came to time and space tampering: Psnoo and Fiend. "What's all this then?" she groaned. It'd been awhile since she managed a serious feat of imagining. "Have you broken anything yet?"

[Secret Pseudonym]

Psnoo looked around sadly at the wreckage of her time machine, then at herself and Fiend who were liberally sprayed with the Mt. Dew that had still been in her pop-machine-cum-time-traveling-device. "Anything broken? Just my pride. Should have remembered that electricity and liquids don't mix well." She sighed. "Help me push the door open. Let's see if we ended up somewhere or if we're still in the cabin."

"You realize that we're just missing DB to make this a repeat of the good old days, right?" Fiend asked as the three angels shoved and shoved at what had used to be a flimsy plastic cover.

"The good old days?" Arenas groaned. "Which ones were those? JA has seen a lot of good days."

"The nacho speaks," Psnoo said cryptically, which only made Fiend crack up, and Arenas soon after. "You know," she continued, getting into the spirit of things, what with three fully grown angels being trapped inside a small and seemingly well constructed pop time machine. "It's all fun and games until..."

The door flew open, spilling its angelic contents all over the floor.

"Until you're fall face first onto the dirty cobblestones?" Fiend asked. They all looked at each other as they realized what she'd said. "Psnoo, if you can just remember that little detail about electricity and liquids, you might have a future career as an timelord."

"Yay for me. As long as I don't have to wear clothes covered in Mt. Dew, I'll consider it." A quick whisk of the imagination got them clean again. "So, anyone else want to explore mid-19th century London?"

"In these rags?" Arenas asked, quickly getting into the spirit of things. "You have no idea how to go incognito, do you?"

"This coming from Sands's angel," Psnoo smirked. "Fine, I await your tutelage in masterful disguises, oh subtle one."

"You're going to regret that one." And with that pithy remark, Arenas transformed herself and Fiend into the very images of a model Victorian ladies, but Psnoo....

Well, with her well-documented mass of horrible bed-head and Arenas's little revenge, she looked rather like Mrs. Lovett.

"Well that's just cruel," Psnoo muttered while her friends started ROTFL-ing. Her face strained as she tried to imagine herself a new appearance, but try as she might, nothing happened.

"Nuh-uh..." Arenas chided, wagging her finger. "I made sure you couldn't just imagine your way out of that. Where would the fun be if you could undo it like that?" She snapped her fingers. As the echoes of the snapped died, the three angels heard footsteps getting louder and louder and for the first time they looked around. Besides the cobblestones there were several abandoned tables and benches, cages overhead filled with cardinals and goldfinches, and unlit Chinese lanterns.

"Oh-no!" Psnoo quickly disappeared the sad remains of the soda machine and tried to shove Fiend and Arenas under a table - and herself along with them - but a voice cracking through the silence stopped them.

"Mrs. Lovett! There you are. Who are they?"

That voice was unmistakable. Fiend, Arenas and Psnoo turned as one, looking for the mentioned Mrs. Lovett as they tried not to stare at the man standing on the stairs that started in the courtyard of Mrs. Lovett's Pie Shop.

"Mrs. Lovett, I asked you a question." Todd came stalking over and stood in front of Psnoo. Apparently she was having a really bad hair day. Though she hadn't thought the long Oregon winter had made her that pale.

"I...uh..." I'm not Mrs. Lovett? Psnoo wanted to say, but as she started to both Fiend and 'renas elbowed her. She looked down and saw the reason for their alarm - Todd had come down from his shop with a razor in his hand. Suddenly this didn't seem like a quick jaunt to another fandom.

"Customers," she improvised. "Customers come early. Loved the pies I served last night. Wanted the recipe. But really, ladies, you must see the impossibility of it. Family secret and all. A widow's got to support herself somehow."

"Right you are." Arenas grabbed Fiend's arm and started dragging her away. "I suppose we'll just have to come back tonight and try to guess what's going on...with your recipe." The wink, wink, nudge, nudge could have been more subtle, but if it hadn't been Psnoo would have probably have run screaming after them. As it was the two barely escaped before Todd practically dragged the mistaken Mrs. Lovett away, talking about the night's "menu."

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OOC: Sorry if that got a little out of control, but it would have been a crime to let that opportunity go to waste. ;D

Tune in next time to see -among other things - Arenas and Fiend stumble around London (perhaps running into other characters), the other 'kicks and angels join in the mayhem, and Psnoo in the kitchen (gasp!). And as always, let your imagination guide the story. This could turn out fun.

[Candy Queen]

"Oh man, we missed everyone." CQ said with a worried look after reading a note that DonaM wrote so that Mort could finally get some sleep without being bothered by kicks and angels. She turned and glanced at Willy. "Now how are we supposed to get back in time like them?"

"Wait.. they went back in time?"

"That's what I just said... 'went back in time; meet us at Fleet Street. -DonaM' I assume Fleet Street means back to Sweeney's time."

"I see, well why don't you just imagine us there?"

"Are you kidding? School has fried my brain... There's gotta be another way back, I can't miss out on this opportunity. I want so badly to meet Mrs. Lovett."

"Why don't we take the elevator, it's how we got here.."

"Willy, this isn't just distance here.... It's also time."

"I think I know the elevator better than you."

"There's a back in time feature?"

"I haven't tested it yet, but yes."

"And you can go back to a specific place and time?" He flashed her a mischievous smile. "Oh Willy, what do you have up your sleeves?"
They walked out the cabin, off to porch and both ran into the elevator. CQ rubbed her forehead and pressed the open button. Willy reached toward a shiny button in the upper right corner.
"Okay, now how come I never saw that and pressed it?" CQ couldn't keep her eyes off the sparkling button. Willy pressed it and mumbled something and they shot diagonally away.
They landed in front of the asylum.

"William, are you trying to tell me something?" He looked at his shoes, smiling again. She glared at him and said, "Well maybe we should hide this so people aren't just running into it?" She pressed a button and the elevator climbed slowly to the roof. It went to the shadows where no one could see it. They climbed down and headed off towards Mrs. Lovett's, figuring everyone else would be there. When they arrived they entered the infamous pie shop to see a confused looking Mrs. Lovett.

"CQ! How good to see you!" Mrs. Lovett said.

"How d--" CQ started.

"It's me, Psnoo." she whispered in return.

Suddenly there were footsteps from the stairs. "Mrs. Lovett? Who's down there?"

"You two should leave, he might want to shave Willy, and well, we don't want that do we?"

"Don't want what?" Sweeney was at the bottom of the stairs, staring at the three.

"We don't want everyone knowing my secret recipe." Psnoo was good at thinking on her feet.

"So, who are they?" Sweeney eyed the two.

"I'm William." Willy hated being called that but figured for this time period it would have to do.

" 'Ow about a shave?" Sweeney's eyes glinted mysteriously.

"Err... I just shaved this morning... Thanks for the offer though.." Willy had been warned by CQ before this adventure of Todd.

"Well... Since Mrs. Lovett won't share the recipe, we'll just get going and come back when you're open." CQ and Psnoo's eyes met and there was an understanding between them. CQ and Willy went out in search of everyone else.


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OCC::
Very long... =/
It'll probably the longest one I write though...
=]

[Dangerbabe]

Moments after CQ and Willy left, a bent-over figure in dark rags with a cane and a sack on her back came into the shop.

"Oi! Mrs, Lovett! I 'ave that flour you ordered."

Sweeney raised an eyebrow. "Well, you're really getting into this quickly, aren't you, Mrs. Lovett?"

Psnoo smiled nervously. "Oh, well, best not to waste time, I suppose."

The woman shifted the heavy flour sack a little. "Where d'you want it, Missy?"

"Oh...I...er you can put it in the kitchen. I guess..."

"Aye," the woman nodded. "The kitchen. A very likely place. And just where would that be?"

Psnoo pointed, "It's that way."

"Well, now, my dear," the woman grinned, "you're going to 'ave to do better than that. In case you didn't notice, I 'aven't any eyes."

Psnoo broke into a smile and clasped the woman's hands. "You don't have any eyes! Well, why didn't you say so?!"

Sweeney watched them. "Cause for celebration, is it?"

Psnoo led the woman away. "Shall I take that heavy sack for you?"

"No, no," the woman replied. "I've got it, luv."

Sweeney shook his head as he went back upstairs. "Women."

Once in the kitchen, the woman tossed the bag of flour onto the floor and stood up. She was dressed in 1800s beggar except for her dark sunglasses. "Well, Primera," DB said, "you've gone and gotten yourself into trouble, eh?"

"No trouble, not yet anyway," Psnoo grinned.

"Just what are you going to do when the real Mrs. Lovett shows up?"

"Exactly what my mentor taught me. Play it by ear."

DB raised an eyebrow. "Did that comment include a wink?"

"Yep."

"I should hope so."

[The Symbolic Sacrifice]

SS' tummy was making rumbling noises as she wandered the halls of JA looking for something to eat, she smelled an aroma coming from the Adventure thread, one she hadn't smelt in quite a while.... meat pies.

In flash she imagined herself in the middle of whatever had last happened in the thread and popped up on a table, through a hessian bag, covered from head to foot in a white powdery substance.

Great clouds of the stuff started to settle around the room she was in.

'I can see you two.' she called out pointing, even though she had no idea who they might be.

DB lowered her glasses which left her skin unexposed to the flour
that now covered every inch of her.

Psnoo had a kind of a scowl on her face, which wasn't too pleasant.

'Err, sorry?' SS cringed, as she waited for one of them or both of them to speak/yell.

[Dangerbabe]

"I'm afraid to move," DB said, "for fear I'll choke on the cloud of flour."

Psnoo had no such compunction. She shook off the flour like a wet cat would water. "SS!"

"G'day, blossoms!"

DB slowly brushed flour off, unable to suppress a smile. "It's been a long time, girl! I'm not exactly sure what kind of trouble we're in, but it's bound to be fun."

"Who's here already?" SS asked.

"Psnoo's got the list, I imagine," DB said as she made her way toward SS's voice and tackled her Aussie friend in a hug.

Psnoo shook some more flour from her hair. "Let's see. We've got Fiend and Arenas, CQ and Willy. I think Allie dropped in somewhere and so did Dona."

"Sheesh," DB raised her eyebrows. "Where are they all?"

"I think they're coming back tongiht. You-knowwho scared them off," Psnoo indicated upstairs with a tip of her head.

"Ugh," SS added. "Does he have...you know...a customer up there?"

Psnoo gulped. "I don't know...I hope not..."

They all three went white. And it wasn't just the flour.

[Secret Pseudonym]

"You know," Psnoo gulped, looking rather green around the gills. "I never was able to touch raw meat. Just can't bring myself to do it. Have to use rubber gloves. And I happen to know for a fact that latex in it's hand-protecting form is not around yet."

"Forget hand protecting. That's not the body part I'm worried about," SS said, adding a quick neck-slicing gesture to punctuate her point. "Though, I suppose anyone who comes along at this point is coming in post-movie, so their fate is debatable."

"Post-movie?" DB said, a frown in her voice. "Well smeep. I know you have to have a Johnny for a fandom to exist, but the presence of all other characters is more or less at the discretion of that Johnny's angel."

"But Barkin' Benji doesn't have an angel yet," Psnoo pointed out. "And, I mean, isn't that a good thing? Because Mrs. Lovett really was the crazy one in the relationship. Benji just wanted to bury signore Pirelli. It was all her idea to branch out into exotic meats. So you can see why I wouldn't want to run into her. The woman was absolutely off her rocker. What?" SS and DB were looking at her as if she were crazy.

"Psnoo," SS said very carefully, "if there's one thing I've learned about angels, it's that they temper their Johnny's characters."

"Take you and Mort, for example," DB added. "I mean, you've practically turned him into the responsible one in your relationship."

"Hey. If you were going to school full time and doing like fifty hours of homework a night and working like 500 hours a week at work and trying to stay sane, you'd make Mort look reasonable too. Besides, he was reasonable until Amy walked out on him."

"Exactly," DB and SS said at the same time. They traded glances - or at least would have if DB had been capable of doing so - and DB picked up the line of reasoning both angels were following. After all, Psnoo had been her sidekick, once upon a time, a long, long time ago. ( ) "You turned Mort into who you wanted him to be. But Sweeny doesn't have an angel yet, so he's still 'Movie!Sweeny."

"OMg," Psnoo gasped, suddenly grasping the point. "OMg. OMg. Oh crap. He thinks I'm Mrs. Lovett. And if he finds out I'm not -"

The door to the kitchen flew open to reveal.....

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OOC: Yes, I handed off the drama to the person. But it's late! And I spent most of the day walking around Seattle. Well, the Seattle art museum and then down a couple of blocks to Pike's Place. But it was a good few hours. And I didn't sleep much last night. My auntie and uncle are keeping me up late watching movies.

[The Imprisoned Songstress]

Allie rushes in
"Sorry, got side-tracked, love London. What is going on?"
Looks at the open door with everyone
"Sweeney, dear what are YOU doing?" I say with fear
"Working, what else, dear" Sweeney says eyeing me strangely
"We see that. Who....was it? Sweeney begins to speak but I cut him off Nevermind I don't think we want to know!" I say in a hurried tone
Seeing everyone pale or green in the face
"Dear, you know if you become my Angel, you'll have to deal with this?" Sweeney smiles
"I do and will, but they don't have to deal with it, hun." I say trying not to make him argry
I look at everyone reassuringly and smile
"But they are here." Sweeney exclaims
"I know, darling."I say soothingly
"Well it's what I do, so if they aren't up for it, they can leave."Sweeney says getting angry
I look at everyone and try to get them to say something, anything
"Well we just weren't expecting to see it right then, Mr. T" said Arenas with a hint of a smile
Allie wathches the party nod their heads vigorously and giggles a little
"Well I guess it can be shocking, the first time you watch. He had to go though. You do understand?" Sweeney asks questioningly
They nod
"Good then there will be no more questions." He says with smile.
As Sweeney is talking, C, Lua and I notice something outside
"Should we investigate?"C whispers
"Maybe we should ask Sweeney?"Lua whispers not wanting to make him angry
"We won't go far, we'll be back before they notice." I say and they tiptoe out
Famous last words............................................................

[The Idyllic Idealist]

"It looked like a person." Allie whispered as they tiptoed down the stairs. They got to the bottom of the stairs and see the real Mrs. Lovett heading towards the pie shop!

"Oh no! We can't let her walk in there, and see Psnoo and everyone!" said C.

"Come on. Let's tackle her or something and drag her away from here!" Lua said, with desperation as Mrs. Lovett got closer and closer to the pie shop.

They ran over to her and Lua covered her mouth so no one would hear her scream and they all tried to drag Mrs. Lovett away who was putting up a real fight.

"Hurry, down here," C said as they tried to push her towards a dark alley. They thought it was deserted, but they saw two figures walking towards them.

Oh no, what if it's the police? Lua thought, her heart pounding furiously in her chest. It was becoming difficult to hang on to Mrs. Lovett. She kicked and tried to scream, and they were starting to lose their grip on her.

The two figures kept coming closer and closer until they were right in front of them.

"CQ, Willy! It's you," said Allie, relieved.

Suddenly, Mrs. Lovett bit Lua's hand and Lua howled in pain and let go of her. CQ and Willy quickly grabbed her before she slipped from under Allie and C's grasp.

"What's going on?" CQ asked.

Lua ripped off a small piece of her shirt and tied it around Mrs. Lovetts mouth to keep her from screaming.

They explained that they saw the real Mrs. Lovett heading towards the pie shop and they couldn't let her get in there.

"We don't know where to put her," said Lua.

They thought about where to put her.

"I know! We could put her in the glass elevator!" Willy exclaimed.

"Good idea! Maybe we could lock her in one of the rooms of the factory," said CQ.

They all held her down as Willy went to get the elevator.

[Candy Queen]

"So how long exactly have you girls been here?" CQ asked while waiting for Willy to get back.

"Mmhumphmmm" Mrs. Lovette mumbled through the shirt.

"Oh hush, just be lucky we didn't shove a SOCK in your mouth." CQ said calmly twirling her (candy) cane. "So when did you get here?"

"Well, we left right after Fiend and Psnoo... But it feels like ages..." Allie replied.

"And what have you chicas done since you've been here?" CQ started to play with her hat.

"You know, the kind of stuff you can do in these times..." C laughed

"Would I rather not know?" CQ wondered.

Suddenly they heard a person running their way. They sunk into the shadows only to see Willy there.

"The elevator's not where we left it!" he exclaimed looking frantic.

"What are we supposed to do?!" Lua began to panic.

"Oh, calm down I'm sure Willy just missed it, I mean it is made of glass you know," CQ said staying calm (well, at least on the outside), "But if it's not there, we need a plan of what to do with Lovette." Lua's eyes narrowed at the mention of her name because of the painful bite on her hand.

"Well, we could put her in the asylum..." Willy began.

"WILLIAM!" CQ said

Suddenly a singing beggar woman appeared out of nowhere...

[The Imprisoned Songstress]

we all stared at the baggar women in front of us
"You look formiliar, I say curiously. Do I know you?"
she points toward the tied up Mrs. Lovette
"She's the devil's wife. Beware!" she backs away
"Well that was strange, said Lua"
"Creepy" says Allie
"Well what are we going to do with her?" Says CQ
they all shrug
"We can't take her to Sweeney, can we?" says C questioningly
"Well he wouldn't happy to know that she was walking around in the dark, would he?"
Lovette shakes her head
"What were you doing?" asks CQ.....